Category: future parenting

the pen: this is used when we take the kids shopping. when they started acting up, we would pull out a pen, and make a small mark on their wrist. they had no idea what it was until we all got home. for each mark they got a swat (add your own form of discipline here). the next time we went out and started acting up, we pulled out the pen and they immediately sobered up. one is 3 and the other is 5. works for both of them. got the idea from a friend. people are always amazed at the immediate transformation when we pull out an insignificant pen. we explain it to them most of the time and they always agree it’s a great idea.

  • According to a thing I heard on NPR newborns have trouble with depth perception and multiple colors. That’s why the Red/Black/White color scheme is popular on a lot of baby toys. If you present too many colors the kid goes into sensory overload and shuts down. My oldest was getting really fussy at ToysRUs. I found a row of multi-colored plush toys and ran him up and down the aisle a couple times in the stroller. He went out like a light.
  • We were car shopping and got stuck with a really aggressive salesman. One little pinch to the baby and he let out a scream that would crack the Hope diamond. No more salesman.
  • We set pretty strict bedtimes for the kids. If they complained about having to go to bed I always blamed the clock.

    “What’s your bedtime?”


    What’s the first number on the clock?


    “Well I guess it’s time for bed. Sorry but that’s what the clock says. Wish you could stay up longer.”